Writing your own wedding vows can feel daunting. After all, there are so many directions you can go with it, the lack of structure and unlimited options can feel overwhelming and might leave you wondering where to even start. Do you tell a story? Do you keep it short and sweet? Do you quote scripture?… Ah!

Writer’s block is real. You may have so much you want to say, or even when you don’t have the words to encapsulate the feelings in your heart! Sitting down and figuring out where to start with your vows is definitely not the easiest thing to do in the world, especially for those of us that aren’t naturally writers.

But don’t fret, we are here to help! Follow this step-by-step wedding vow writing guide to help you craft the perfect wedding vows that fit your style and ceremony. So grab a pen & paper, and let’s dig in!

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1. Consider Timing

First and foremost, what are the time constraints that you’re working with? These can be imposed by your ceremony schedule, though it’s typically just personal preference.

Think about how long you want to be talking. Are you worried your guests’ eyes are going to be glazing over by the time you get to page three? Perhaps you’re nervous about speaking in front of a crowd of 200 people, or you’re worried you’ll start crying tears of joy if you go on too long?

The length of vows you want to have will determine whether you have time to tell a short story, include additional scripture verses or anecdotes, or if you want to keep it direct and to the point.

For timing, consider your audience and what you are comfortable with to determine how long you want your vows to be.

2. Bullet Points

Now that you know how long you want your vows to be, you can start digging in by brainstorming bullet points to organize your thoughts. What do you want to say?

Take 5 minutes to free-write any ideas that come to mind. Starting with how you feel, any memories that come to mind, and expanding into the vision you see for your future as a couple, and your promises to your partner in your new chapter as husband and wife.

3. Do You Want To Tell A Story?

If you’ve decided your vows are going to be on the longer side – say 10 minutes of talking – you’ll want to include a sweet story or something that paints a picture for your guests and has meaning for your significant other. Some story/anecdote ideas include:

• How you two met
• When you knew they were “the one”
• A funny or sweet story that encompasses you two as a couple
• Your engagement/proposal story
• When you knew you were in love
• Your first date
• Memories that immediately come to mind when you think of your significant other

4. Do You Want to Include Scripture?

Depending on whether or not you are having a religious ceremony, you may also want to include some scripture. You can find all of our favorite verses and readings for ceremonies on the extensive post we did all about just that, right here!

Here are a few popular verses you’ll hear in ceremonies or vows:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

Ecclesiastes: 4:9-12

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, they are warm; but how can one be warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him.”

Mark 10:6-9

From the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

1 John 4:19 

“We love because He first loved us.”

For shorter vows, you may want to only include a very short story or verse, or simply tell your partner how much you love them, and what you vow to do as their spouse. Here are some vows that many couples make to their partner:

• love unconditionally
• support
• cherish and appreciate them/the little things they do
• always work to make them feel loved
• make them smile/pick them up when they’re down
• honor them/your relationship
• provide/take care of them

Add any verses, readings, or stories to your bulleted list, and we’ll move on to get a bit more specific.

5. Write a First Draft

Now that you have your full list and an idea of what you want the length of your vows to be, it’s time to write a first draft. This will allow you to organize the ideas you have come up with in that bulleted list.

For those opting for longer vows, a great format is to start with a story, then your feelings/love for that person, and finally, wrap it up with your vows/promises to your partner.

For shorter vows, you may want to start with describing your love for your partner, and then move into your vows/promises.

6. Read It Aloud

Since you are going to be saying your vows in front of your partner, and likely a big group of friends and family, you will want to practice your vows out loud. This will help you see how it sounds, how it flows together, and how long it actually takes you to get through it. Make adjustments as needed.

7. Read Aloud to Someone Else

This step is completely optionally, you may choose to keep your vows to yourself. However, if you are someone that likes to have feedback on things or need a confidence boost before you read them aloud on your wedding day, read your vows out loud to someone you trust and make adjustments as you get their feedback.

8. Proofread Your Vows

Once you’ve made your edits to your first draft, it’s time to write your final copy. This includes proofreading your first draft, editing out any typos or fixing sentences that didn’t flow when you read them aloud.

9. Make a Copy

Things get hectic when your wedding rapidly approaches, do yourself a favor now and make a copy (or two!) of your vows to avoid the disaster of misplacing them on your big day.

Many brides also want to keep a copy of their vows and their partner’s vows to include in a memory/keepsake box, or put them directly in the wedding album. This allows you to look back on exactly what was said and cherish the memory!

10. Revisit Your Vows

Depending on when you actually wrote your vows, it would be wise to revisit them before the big day. If you wrote them weeks or months in advance, good for you for planning so far ahead! However, it would be advisable to revisit them a week or so before the wedding to make sure it still encompasses what you want to say.