Weddings are so incredibly fun (and sometimes a bit stressful!) to plan. But one less fun aspect is the topic of money and budget. Money tends to be a challenging thing to talk about, especially if you’re looking for assistance from family members to pay for your big day.

It doesn’t help that it seems like everything wedding related is so darn expensive these days. From the dress to the cake, to the decor, to the venue… don’t even get us started on what photographers charge in some locations! The list is endless and a budget is an absolute must.

When it comes to determining who pays for what at a wedding, there are traditional “rules” and more common practices that you’ll find nowadays. Every couple is different, so it’s important to adjust any recommendations to fit the couple’s style, preferences, and budget. Read on to see the traditional rules and how couples are rewriting them today to fit their goals and situation.

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Who Pays For What In a Wedding?
Tips to Easily Determine Who Pays For What At Your Wedding
Most Asked Questions

Who Pays For What In a Wedding?

Weddings are full of tradition and etiquette rules that used to be followed to a “T” but now tend to be bent and broken. But when it comes to money, what even are the rules?

Traditionally, the bride’s family is responsible for most of the wedding expenses. This includes the engagement party, the venue, catering, the bride’s dress, entertainment, and the rest of the wedding day costs. The groom’s family traditionally pays for extra activities like the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon, in addition to the alcohol at the reception.

Read below for more details on who is traditionally responsible for what:

Ceremony:

The bride and her family typically cover the costs of the ceremony venue (church or otherwise), along with music, and other ceremony vendors. The groom’s family pay for the marriage license and officiant.

Reception:

The bride’s family pay for all reception costs, with the exception of the groom’s family paying for the alcohol, and sometimes, the DJ or band. 

Wedding Attire:

The bride and her family traditionally pay for her dress, veil and accessories (which is still common practice today). The bride and her side also pay for the shower, bachelorette party, and the rest of her wedding wardrobe. The groom’s family pays for his suit or outfit, as well as accessories. The wedding party members typically pay for their own dresses and suits, as is common today.

Decorations & Floral Arrangements:

The bride and her family are on the hook for this one – this includes reception and ceremony decor, bouquets, centerpieces, corsages for the mothers and grandmothers, and boutonnières for the groomsmen.

Honeymoon:

The groom and his family pay for the honeymoon.

Photography:

The bride’s family pays for all wedding photography and videography.

Stationary:

The bride’s family pays for all invitations, announcements, programs, and wedding paper items.

Transportation:

The bride and her family pay for the transportation of the wedding party to and from the ceremony and reception (if applicable).

At the end of the day, only the couple and their families can decide how they want to split up the costs of the wedding. The traditional way of divvying up the costs was followed for quite a long time, possibly because it was easier than breaking the norm and having a potentially difficult conversation with family members. Tradition is not typically followed anymore, with most couples splitting the cost equally between themselves and their families. 

According to The Knot, couples these days are dividing up wedding expenses equally with the newlyweds paying about 48% of the wedding expenses, and their parents splitting the remainder of the costs (52%).

Tips to Easily Determine Who Pays For What At Your Wedding

1. Set Your Budget

First and foremost, you need to decide what a realistic budget is for your dream wedding day. This will make it easier to create a plan, nail down your priorities, and speak to family members about contributing to your special day.

2. Decide What’s Most Important

Have a conversation with your partner about what is most important to you about your wedding day (besides sharing your love, of course!) Deciding what your priorities are in planning your big day will make it easier to allocate your funds and stick to a budget.

Do this by thinking about what elements of your nuptials are most important to you. Have you always dreamed of a certain type of venue? Do you have a favorite band that you absolute must have in attendance to celebrate after you tie the knot? Do you want to be married at a certain destination? Have you already picked out the dress of your dreams and it cost a little more than you were hoping to spend?

Figure out which key elements are most important to you on your big day so you can determine where most of your budget needs to go, and where you can afford to cut back a bit.

3. Be Realistic

It’s important to be realistic about what you can afford on your budget and with the help of your family members. It might not be your complete “dream vision” of your wedding, but odds are you can get it relatively close by setting your priorities in step 2. The average cost of a wedding is $29,000 in 2023 (according to CNN). Keep that number in your mind as a baseline when you’re considering what you can realistically spend.

4. Speak to Family

If you and the groom aren’t able to pay for the wedding yourselves, it’s time to sit down with your families and have an honest discussion about them contributing to the wedding costs. These days, most families split the costs 50/50 with the bride and groom. 

It’s important to do it sooner rather than later, as you might be surprised to find they can’t contribute as much as you were hoping or expecting. This can drastically effect your overall budget and choices, leading to disappointment and resentment. Avoid the awkwardness by getting the conversation out of the way before you start any planning!

5. Consider Family Input On Decisions

When you’re planning your dream day, it can be easy to completely dismiss family members’ ideas and desires for your special day. While it is your wedding, if they’re contributing half of the budget, it’s only fair that they get a say. After all, the “if you pay, you have a say” phrase is popular for a reason!

Make sure everyone’s expectations are discussed when you’re having a conversation about budget. If there are strings attached to money from family, it’s important to know that ahead of time. Then depending on expectations (and often times personality and relationship dynamics/history), the couple can make the decision if it’s worth taking that contribution.

6. Be Honest & Transparent

Talking about money can be challenging and even taboo in some families, but it’s an important step in wedding planning that must be done (if you’re looking for family help in paying for the wedding). Be honest, open-minded, and always approach the conversation with kindness. It’s also important to be understanding and respectful that family members might not be aware of what weddings cost in the current day and age – after all, they used to be a lot cheaper! Always approach the conversation with respect and understanding to avoid any arguments and hurt feelings.

Ultimately, the couple and their families must decide what they feel is fair and appropriate when creating a budget and how they’re going to divvy up the costs of the wedding day and extras.

Most Asked Questions

Who Pays For What In a Wedding?
What Does the Brides Family Pay For?
What Does the Groom’s Family Pay For?
Why Does the Bride’s Family Pay for Everything?
What Do Parents Give For Weddings?
What Is the Average Cost of a Wedding in 2023?

Who Pays For What In a Wedding?

Historically, the bride’s family has been responsible for the vast majority of wedding expenses. Then the groom’s family pays for additional activities like the rehearsal dinner, honeymoon, and usually, the alcohol at the reception. These days though, it seems like the families of the bride and groom (and even the bride and groom themselves) split the cost, depending on the desired budget and level of extravagance.

What Does the Brides Family Pay For?

Traditionally, the bride’s family pays for a lot of the wedding costs, like the venue, catering, her dress, etc. 

What Does the Groom’s Family Pay For?

The groom’s family paid for the rehearsal dinner, officiant, and honeymoon, traditionally. That’s in addition to the groom paying for the bride’s engagement and wedding ring. It is also common for the groom’s family to pick up the bill for the alcohol at the reception.

Why Does the Bride’s Family Pay for Everything?

Traditionally, the bride’s family pays for most of the wedding. This tradition is thought to be an evolved practice of the bride’s family paying a dowry to the husband for marrying their daughter.

What Do Parents Give For Weddings?

According to The Knot, couples these days are dividing up wedding expenses equally with the newlyweds paying about 48% of the wedding expenses, and their parents splitting the remainder of the costs.

What Is the Average Cost of a Wedding in 2023?

The average cost of a wedding in 2023 is $29,000, according CNN.